WordPress anniversary

anniversary-2x

‘Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com! You registered on wordpress.com one year ago! Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging!’

Exactly a year ago today, I registered with WordPress and started writing my first blog under the name alittlemoreunderstanding. This has been the year when I started allowing people (who weren’t related to me or my best friends) to read my writing for the first time, it was also a time when I became more open about my Dyspraxia than I had ever been before. I’m so pleased that I made it through a whole year, writing about my experiences and bringing the issue of disability, Dyspraxia and mental health to peoples attention.

As far as WordPress and blogging were concerned I was sceptical, I had periods of online writing as a teenager, but nothing really came from it, and I didn’t know how this would be any different. I doubted myself, I knew that I could write but I questioned whether people would read it or be interested in what I have to say. I was also terrified of people’s reactions towards me, once I disclosed my Dyspraxia. I was constantly reasoning with these internal voices, eventually telling the self doubt to piss off so that I could get on with what I wanted to do. I spent a period of time researching other online blogs, and writing around a similar field to mine- eventually deciding that joining the WordPress community was the best way forward . Once I’d registered, I wrote my first blog post– and after some time wondering ‘should I’ or shouldn’t I’, pressed submit. That moment, shaped everything that was to follow.

WordPress and blogging changed my life, in more ways than I could ever have imagined. It helped me to develop my abilities as a writer and became the back bone for a novel that I am currently working on, it’s brought me friendships, discussions, chats, coffees and recognition- that without it would never exist. Twitter has also helped massively in achieving some of the above, another medium that I was sceptical of, but in the long run has been really helpful for what I am trying to do. Twitter and WordPress are like jam and toast- one is a bit rubbish without the other. I quickly realised that people wanted to take the time to read what I wrote, not out of pity or because they felt they had to- but because the actually valued me for my own merits and abilities. I was good at this and I wanted more of this feeling- so I continued writing, tweeting my writing and talking to others who had been there and become successful. I’ve been reading probably as much as I’ve been writing and this has helped me to develop my style and understand what has worked for other people.

Prior to the blog, I was pretty unhappy and uncertain about my future- having just completed a Masters and being in a few short term but largely unsuitable jobs. I was in denial and embarrassed about my Dyspraxia- immensely confused about who I am. I had just turned 26 and it seemed that I should really have a plan for my life by now. My anxiety had been at a stage when it peaked, and I experienced daily anxiety attacks- on trains, at friends houses, at work and in meetings. I was also starting to understand myself and other people so much better- after a few trying periods when I was discriminated against, shattering my faith and all trust in people. I gradually began to realise that there were those who wanted to be friends with me because they actually liked me, and my Dyspraxia was not a measure that most people use to judge character. My confidence was growing, my friends since my late teens and early twenties had remained loyal and had not been put off by my Dyspraxic quirks or social awkwardness. I realised that I could talk about this, not only to my friends but to a wider circle- and I did just that. WordPress became as important in my life, as cups of tea. I have enjoyed every minute of writing, reading messages and the conversations this blog has generated. I feel that I now have a duty to continue to express myself in this way, so that others can understand but also realise that they are not alone. Blogging has taught me two important life lessons; that people will listen and respond in ways that I didn’t believe would be possible, and that as a consequence of writing about yourself in such an emotive way, I have to put up with being called ‘brave’ and ‘an inspiration’ quiet a lot. It is amazing how much impact words on a page can have on other people (and even more so when they’re complete strangers) Thank you to everyone for all the support, encouragement, advice and rants. Happy WordPress anniversary.
So I am now the happiest I have been in years and off to celebrate my year of WordPress blogging with some pancakes (providing I don’t get them stuck to the ceiling…)
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